Approaching the end of the year... kind of dragged this one. 2011. Blahh. I've shed a lot as a person..a lot of who I was. Some may say that instead of growing, I have..subtracted. At the end of the day, only I can tell the merits from the demerits. It also means, the number of things I actually give a feck about have reduced too. I guess in a way I understand that the value of some things are more than others. Even things we think are essential part of us, things we think make us... sometimes aren't actually worth the importance. I take even less shit now; which is good. It's made me stronger than I once thought I was. More patient.
And you know what they say about throwing a sculpture down a hill ...and by the time it reaches the bottom, all the unimportant pieces break away.... I guess that's what it is. What remains at the end of all the pain and struggle.. are the important parts, the strongest parts....
Maybe that's why it annoys a little when you know the importance of someone and you try to hold on tight to what you know..what you've realised...... all the time just trying and not knowing for sure if any of your efforts are working.........
Also this is probaby sounding like Im depressed or pissed off or something ..especially the first half o.o ...I am really not. I don't even know why I feel the need to clarify..but yea..in case I read back and think wtf o.o.......
So. I miss him, sorely. I need him to need me like I need him. Yea, I know exactly how stupid that sounds and totally the kind of thing a girl would say.... but I do. It only takes 2 minutes to send an e-mail. =/
No comments:
Post a Comment