You know, how they say "if you put someone on a pedestal, they'll have no choice but to look down at you".. it makes sense, right? I mean, that's probably also one reason why Islam gives both men and women same status, especially in dignity and respect.
Khair, I got told there's no shame in asking when the matter concerns your future and your life.. 'cuz, honestly, I would have quite happily left that decision on his life. Apparently though, you can't base your life on somebody elses' life, even if it makes sense to you because ..well..how would you explain that to your mum, for starters? o-0
So, I did. Told him how Maa's on my case and how I've been dodging the topic and telling her no for all this time. How she didn't question me before but wants me to tell her up front now, so she doesn't have to make excuses when turning down people. Told him how me not wanting to get married/not being ready can change with time but wanting to be with him can't.
I talk about having a hard-nosed-front and whatever, not caring about matters of the heart... but I went ahead y'know, put all of that aside and acquainted him with that little piece of information. Because, there's no shame in asking when its the matter of your life, right? ... What did I get out of it, one may ask?...... "Not yet"..
I mean, what does that even mean? ..is that a yes, a no? Is there a time frame for the "yet" part of the "not yet".. because..y'know Maa has given me an ultimatum of her own.
What's going on in his head is some ridiculous mystery to me. Its the kind of DDx, House himself probably couldn't solve.
Also, I can't help feel a little embarrassed? More than little, probably. And this embarrassment in itself, feels a little familiar too. Dunno' why I do this to myself. "There's no shame in asking", har har.
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