Black and White..

I like the moon..not for its beauty or the moonlight it beams when everywhere else is dark. Because of its oneness. I remember being little and driving back home, I'd keep my gaze at the moon the whole time..it seemed as though the moon followed us every where, every time. I thought that was so awesome you know.

At times, I am grateful for my memory.. Some times I can recollect things from when I was well under 6 years old ...and those play like movie reels in my head. Little bits and pieces. In fact, I think its those memories, from my childhood, that keep me grounded more than anything. 

I remember how the sky looked... time doesn't change the sky y'kno.. places do. A few years ago when we went to Pakistan, I got to sleep on the rooftop in Lahore a couple of times. Amidst the honking horns of mahoosive trucks going by and the noise from the tea stall downstaires, I looked up and just soaked in the view. The same sky that's filled with numerous colourful patangs during the day, seemed so ..bare. Not a single star in sight. And yet, it was the homeliest I felt in a long time. We went to visit Dadi Ma in Faisalabad not much later, got to sleep under the sky again... this time with the air filled with fresh smell of sarson and wet soil and sky..adorned with stars. I kid you not, you could've easily found your zodiac star in the sky if ..if you're in to that kinda stuff. They were gleaming and bright, as though they had come to the lowest sky to play some sort of hide and seek among themselves. I remember not wanting to shut my eyes. There was no room for thoughts, you know thoughts that could otherwise not let you see the stars. 

Now I realize, it had always been like that. 

I don't know how many times I have said it before..but.. I really did have the best childhood in the world. And the more I think, the more I realize how that was all down to Papa and Mama. It wouldn't have been the same without either one of them.... and I don't mean in terms of luxury or comfort, but just in ...richness. It sucks now, because the little ones have missed out on all of it. It sucks because no matter, how much I want or how much I try, I can't give them that wholesome childhood that Maa and Papa gave me. I wish I could tell them how much I appreciate it.. and more than anything.. I hope..somehow.... the kids also know how fortunate we are to have had Papa and Mama as our parents.