اَللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِحَيِّنَا وَمَيِّتِنَا وَشَاهِدِنَا وَغَائِبِنَا وَصَغِيْرِنَا وَكَبِيْرِنَا وَذَكَرِنَا وَأُنْثَانَا. اَللَّهُمَّ مَنْ أَحْيَيْتَهُ مِنَّا فَأَحْيِهِ عَلَى اْلإِسْلاَمِ، وَمَنْ تَوَفَّيْتَهُ مِنَّا فَتَوَفَّهُ عَلَى اْلإِيْمَانِ، اَللَّهُمَّ لاَ تَحْرِمْنَا أَجْرَهُ وَلاَ تُضِلَّنَا بَعْدَه

Dadi ma passed away on the 9th of September; I'm sure she's having a better time up there than she did here... I'm sure she's finally at rest. 

Haven't managed to speak to dada abu yet, not ready still.. I'm regretting its been so long already ..but what do I say? .. God's will? .. He's the most dignified person I know besides papa.. I can't put him in the situation where he has to comfort me or make me understand nature's ways and see the bigger picture when he's the one who's at loss the most... I can't?..

I also can't help but feel more angered with papa's side of estranged "family members", who given our low times come running and take advantage of our niceness... Im sure Allah miyan is watching and due justice will be served inshAllah. I pray for forgiveness for us all, and wisdom for those who need it most.