Laura asked me how I was feeling and I said "calm"....... All that hard work and I thought when I finally get registered I'd be ecstatic and jumping with yayness.
All I really felt was just a moment of relief and overwhelming sense of loss of not having papa around to see my accomplishment. I mean; maa and papa deserve it the most, right? ...He ought to have been around to see this day? To see all his hard work and sacrifices didn't go to waste? ..
Adam congratulated me and said "your mum will be really proud of you".. and Maa is. She doesn't even have to say; it glimmers in her eyes.. but I can imagine how papa would have been like too. Just like he was on my graduation day; when he signed his own discharge from hospital to come and see me walk across the stage to get my degree. Told me he was so very proud of me right before he took my hand and placed it on his chest and his heart was beating faster than mine. My dad was like that y'know? Confident, self assured, expressive and full of pride for his children.... I can't put in to words how much I miss him.
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