Sullied..

I have been stuck in Blood Cultures for a month now, and, I guess I am not really loving it? ..Still gives me a lump in my throat every time I hear someone's died. The registrars seem so casual about it as well, like, it's become so... normal (?) for them. I also find it really frustrating not knowing the dead patient's clinical history...  I know the doctors must have tried everything to save them but I'd feel so much better really knowing, you know figuring out the puzzle myself ?... None of the other biomedical scientists seem bothered either, maybe they've all become desensitized... maybe they just don't need to know like I do..

It's hard work.

Apart from that; I've been missing Papa a lot. So hey here's a piece of news; a day before my birthday I gave in to peer pressure and got my eyebrow pierced right (?!) because apparently "its metal as feck".. o.0 ..regretted it immediately of course.. but I mean, I got home and Maa.. she doesn't tell you off..she just gives in really.. I think I made her speechless anyway so even if she wanted to tell me off, didn't really leave her room for that either............. So I was just thinking, if Papa was around I would never have even dreamt of doing it.

There was always a case of getting Papa's approval, his nod, when making any choice..there was always that slight fear and apprehension about asking him for something you knew he wouldn't be easy about. It's a fatherly thing, right? ...... I don't even know when I lost that. Its so shit. I miss him for his daant.. didn't think that would ever happen. 

I can imagine how Papa would've reacted...pehle bohat zor ki khatir hoti, then he would've demanded I get it off immediately, phir thora sa silent treatment hota because I would've stormed off crying and he didn't used to follow until his ghussa calmed down. Phir thori dair k baad, he would've called me over  and sat me down next to him and made me see what a dickhead move I made and how parents never want any harm for their kids before giving me the bestest hug ever.

I miss it all. 

Anyways, turns out I can't really take it out for three months unless I want a massive scar o.o ..so its staying in, for now. I'll be that Asian girl with the eyebrow piercing that everybody judges. The joys.

I called Aqib, no answer obviously. Maa wouldn't be happy if she found out. I don't even know why I tried, impulse I guess? What would I have said anyway? Remember me, your.. -sighs-...

Meh.