This time, last year, I was in Houston... it was an epic fail on so many levels but also a time when I grew up a lot and stopped feeling sorry for myself. Self pity makes me not like myself very much anyway and generally, you know, I think I am a decent person, so I hated not liking myself amongst other issues at the time o.0...
Point being; I came back home thinking I gave zero shit about whatever happened from there on. Equally important to uh..highlight; I stopped praying for anything for myself... -shrug- I guess, I thought I didn't have anything left to ..ask God for. It was stupid, because, now in hindsight, I realize it was more a sign of despair than that of selflessness or bravado or whatever the heck I thought I was trying....... and Allah swt hates despair.
Mayoosi tau gunaah hoti hai.
Aur Allah miyan tau sab kay dilon kay raaz jaantay hain.
.....And then three months later, when he was reluctant to tell me he still felt the same about me; I told him I didn't care if we didn't get married..I just wanted him to say he loves me and it would be enough. And I wouldn't ask for more.
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Here's some more truths, since I am sharing..
I love him.
After everything we have been through.
Now, more than ever.
More, everyday.
He melts my heart each time he calls me his jaan or tells me he loves me..
..keeps me on my toes; his hotness gives me butterflies
I crave him like he is my sustenance...
and he makes me ask God for him, every night...
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I am in love with him.. and this is probably just a shout in to the void and maybe we are all doomed and the world will come to an end and nothing really matters ..and I am in love with him
I said I wouldn't ask for more.. but I would always want more. -shrug- ...it is what it is.
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