Bea.

She's going to be inspirational and achieve wonderful things in life when she grows up...Papa and mama will be very proud of her.. It's not an expectation, Im pretty confident about that. I had an idea we were close but never really realised it to this extent..I mean apart from maa, she's the only one who ever really has any conversation with me. It's strange now...being at home..the house seems empty without her stories and her laughter, her insanity, her ingenuity, the honesty with which she loves everyone, the expression of that love.....
That's not it though, do you know what's the best thing about her? ..She never gives up. She is probably the most persistent person I know, maybe it comes naturally with being the youngest..I don't know... but I miss her. No matter how tired you are or if your ears start hurting or you're in a really crappy mood..even if you present yourself totally not interested in whatever she has to say, she would keep talking until she's done. We can all do with someone like that you know....Someone to remind us to just carry on..that it doesn't matter...Someone who sticks around even when they're told off constantly...Someone who's just..there....even if they're talking malarchy we don't get....

I've practically raised the kid which looking at her insanity is not that hard to tell...Her presence has just..grown on me like that........... Right now though, it's awfully quiet and lonely...so much so that..I...can't help feel a little suffocated... Empty.