Sometimes..

Valentines day is very in your face this time of the month and quiet frankly I could care less..Never have, regardless of the relationship status. If you love someone, you love them forever..you shouldn't need a specific day to express that love..especially if its this commercial. Even more so, I think all the fuss, the tacky hearts hanging out in shops and the teddy bears, the cliches..they only degrade love. Whatever..mujhe kiya -shudders-...

...I guess Im writing because..this is where I can self confess..... y'know sometimes..its really hard to just contain it all within yourself. Especially when you're so filled up emotionally anyway........ So I was checking out the video posted up on the postsecret website and around 0.54, there's this card..probably the simplest of all..and it reads "Be Mine.. nothing more, nothing less"..Those 5 seconds of the video..really. messed. me. up. today.

I don't want to cry but I don't know how to hold it back anymore. There's a few people I can give a piece of my mind to..but I don't do that y'know...I just let them be.. but just because I don't say anything, doesn't mean you can treat me like a door mat....... So here's the thing, after everything I have done for you..and everything I've lost for you... I've got nothing. And I doubt you'd lose sleep knowing this so..whatever. I will not take the blame for your drawbacks...I've done enough of playing my part in "being friends"..... and I am not happy.. so.. screw that.

I miss my mum. I don't have anyone to tell things to. I miss Aqib. I miss telling him I love him. Like I said..sometimes its really hard to contain it all within yourself.

..I would go through all this pain,

Take a bullet straight through my brain,

Yes I would die for ya baby;

But you won't do the same..